I’m one of those weird guys who gets most emotionally moved when watching sports movies. For some people its chick flicks or epic movies. But not me I’m that special kind of nerd that cries every time he watches Rudy (I can’t believe I just admitted that). Well anyway, tonight I had that experience again. I watched For the Love of the Game, again. And I get the same weird response every time. I wonder if I’m spending my life in the right way.
You see in this movie Costner is playing this aging pitcher who in what turns out to be the last game of his career begins throwing a perfect game, and interspersed all throughout the game are his memories of his interactions with people but mostly with a woman. Who turns out to be the love of his life. And as we learn in the movie he has managed to mess up this relationship pretty royally.
Finally at the end of the movie he finishes the perfect game, he gets what he thinks he really wanted in life. However, once he gets it realizes that it isn’t really what he wanted after all. After putting his catcher to bed he goes to his room, and cries out of sheer misery. Later, there is of course the happy ending where she forgives him for being an idiot and pushing her away. He discovered that what he thought that he really wanted most of all was all wrong. What he really wanted he had pushed away and never recovered. This is the part that always gets me wondering and reflective.
This guy figures it out when its almost too late. But what if I’m spending my life pursuing the wrong thing thinking that I’m doing what’s best. What if I’m deceived or confused and I’m truly wasting my life. What if I’m not really using the life that God has given in the way that He desires, that will most please Him, and most bring me joy? What if I’ve missed the boat and unlike Costner it’s too late to get it back. What if I’ve really blown it?
This may be the experience of those who when they see Jesus in the judgment and hear that they did not feed Jesus or clothe Him and they wonder when they were supposed to have seen Him. And He responds that when did they did not do it for the least of the brothers they did not do it for Him. They missed the boat; it appears they thought that they were serving Jesus, that they were true disciples, that they were being faithful. But they were wrong, and they pay eternally for it. Now occasionally in a really dark moment I wonder about where I am in Matt 25. But usually when I get into this kind of mood (how on earth does a Costner baseball movie do this to me) I wonder/fear if when I see Jesus He will simply say that I wasted it. I wasted my life, my ministry, my witness, and my opportunity. I want to be found faithful; I want to hear the Well done of my savior. I want to hear that how I used the life He gave me pleased Him. I want to know that I spent it all on what really mattered most.